In my wildest dreams I never thought that I would still be enduring abuse after I left an abusive man.
I never thought the courts would overlook such an extreme personality.
I never thought that I would see a fear in my child’s eyes so afraid of my child’s father.
I never thought that my child would be subjected to the abuse even after my child disclosed what happened to me and my child.
I never thought a man could continue so long after our separation and finally divorce.
I never thought I would be in court 6 months after the divorce was finalized and then another month after that.
I am learning I am not the crazy one. I have PTSD from a man who has extreme ways of thinking.
I am learning that I will never be the same, but I can advocate for others who are just starting the process and were as naive (for lack of a better word) and scared as I was.
I am learning how to be a better person and mother because of all that we have endured.
I am learning to become a reborn me.
I am tired, but not weary.
I am tired, but will always love and support my child and am learning to love myself again.
I am tired and have many sleepless nights, but I will not let PTSD win nor a man with twisted thinking.
Today is a new day and tomorrow is another new day. Even though the endless emotional abuse continues and is tiring, I see the joy in Landry’s eyes when Landry is with me and I see the joy in my eyes for the first time in a long time. Our flowers will continue to blossom and our story is just beginning.