Standing up

It has been awhile since I posted mainly because of my hand, but also because it’s been a whirlwind since my injury.  I look back as the past few weeks and I am in amazement about how many times I have stood up against him.  I think I am still in shock about everything that has happened. I think most abusers probably have some type of narcissism in them and mine has proven this time and time again.

I am back in court again as he is trying to alienate Landry against me refusing me the ability to talk to Landry and letting me know about Landry’s activity schedule when he has parenting time.  There have been many firsts I never expected on this journey, but I didn’t expect the fight to keep continuing and Landry to be a pawn.  My therapist tells me this is normal, but I still can’t wrap my head around it nor do I think I ever will be able to.  I finally said enough is enough and hope that the courts finally help Landry and me.

He also tried to keep Landry’s year end assignment collaboration away from me and I called him out as it was happening.  I faced him and he started once again to yell and get in my father’s face in a public place.  I for some reason stepped in between them and looked him right in the eyes and said stop it.  He has had three major outburts in the last 5 months and police were called at one.  I look back and think why did I do that, but then I think I finally had the courage to stand up against him and in a split second while face to face.  I used to pray and hide or take whatever “punishment” I may receive, but not that day.  I faced him and he once again showed his true colors.

My heart was racing during this time, but I felt an unusual calmness about me.  I was not shaking like I normally do around him because I am so fearful of him.  I stood up and today I will continue to stand up for Landry and myself.  I have a long road ahead, but the past few weeks have showed me that I am not only doing this for myself, but also Landry.  Landry needs to see a mom who no longer “takes it” and I need to do it for myself.  I pray the courts start to see his patterns and someday we will no longer have this burden.  Until then it is time to stand-up.

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